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The more we focus on our goals and direct our attention to making positive changes

What Do Self Improvement and Bamboo Have In Common? by Gene Anger
Although self improvement is a worthy pursuit, many often abandon their efforts due to a false belief they are not making progress.
We try this technique or that and see little or no results. We resist this "apparent" lack of success and begin to feel impatient or frustrated.
I recently heard an explanation of how bamboo grows and realize it is an excellent example of the process that takes place when we embark on a journey of personal change.
When a bamboo is planted the roots begin growing and continue growing for years under the ground and out of sight. The larger the root mass, the taller the bamboo plant will eventually reach.
You can watch a bamboo for years before any outward growth becomes visible. Then suddenly the bamboo begins an amazing growth cycle, shooting up like it is on a mission to make up for years of no growth.
Sometimes this is how self improvement works. We learn techniques and begin applying them. Then under the surface out of our conscious awareness,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots, change begins to take place. We see no visible effects of this change, but it is happening.
The more we focus on our goals and direct our attention to making positive changes, the more our subconscious is getting into alignment with our conscious choices. Then suddenly one day all the pieces of the puzzle seem to fall into place and you manifest positive changes on a massive level.
Impatience and Frustration:
Many often feel stuck and frustrated with the perceived image that nothing is working.
Think of it like an overweight dieter. They begin to lose weight and see great results, then seem to hit a wall where no weight loss is achieved,where's the effortless part of the whole equation. The easy step would be to give up and proclaim the diet is not working. However, if the individual sticks to their plan, they eventually get past this plateau and again see more weight loss results.
I don't know about you, but in my personal life I discovered no matter how frustrated or impatient I become, it does not speed things up. Actually it has the reverse effect.
During periods of little to no growth, it seems normal to become impatient and frustrated. However you can compare this to digging up a bamboo every week to check on growth. Not only would the growth cycle be slower, there is a chance it wouldn't even survive.
Have you ever left for work late and noticed the more impatient or frustrated you become with traffic, other drivers and stop lights the slower your progress becomes?
When broadcasting a signal "I can't have what I want" the Universe acting without judgment then responds with heavier traffic, slower stop lights and drivers blocking our path ensuring we get exactly what we focused on being late for work!
Self improvement works exactly the same. Broadcasting impatience and frustration to the Universe because of slow or even no progress shouts out the Universe "I cannot manifest my desires!"
The Universe then responds by making sure we get exactly what we focus on no progress.
So the next time you feel there is nothing happening, remember the bamboo and re-focus attention to your goals and desires. Acknowledge any impatience or frustration that arises, accept it as yours and then let it go. Self improvement takes time,it is very important to be focused. To be focused. Little steps today make big improvements tomorrow.

My children require the necessities of life

A Brick Wall,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots
Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 18, 2003
Two years ago I divorced, and there is still a lot of hostility.
My former husband has been served with contempt papers for not paying child support. He says I am sending him to the poorhouse, but I have no recourse but to contact the court when the payments stop. He continues to blame me, even though two judges have explained it is the court which determines when contempt charges are filed.
My children require the necessities of life, which I provide, but he says the children are my responsibility and not to contact him, even if they become ill. He only interacts with them on scheduled weekends, and many times the weekends are cut short.
The home he purchased with his girlfriend includes a built-in swimming pool and two Jacuzzis. Last summer he asked me how it feels to work,Base Articles, and he explained he makes enough money his girlfriend gets to sit by the pool all summer. His girlfriend looks like a glittering Christmas tree with all the jewelry she wears.
I have tried to talk to him, but he says he is not listening and then belittles me. He buys food and clothing for his girlfriend's children, but he tells me I have messed up our children's lives and dress them in rags. That is not true. They are really great kids doing well in school,not food related.
I need some ideas how to try and talk to him to get my point across. How do I communicate my concerns to him?
Marlene
Marlene, you have communicated your concerns to him. He doesn't care. Your ex-husband doesn't want to support any woman he is not sleeping with, or her children. Your children have lost a father figure because their father does not see himself as their father.
There is another danger here. Children often respect the bad parent and respond to what that parent wants, while disrespecting the good parent. It is not simply that they pick up the difficult parent's attitude; they think by placating him they will get a father response out of him. But the end result is they may blame you.
Don't waste time thinking you will ever get through to this man. You are being emotionally battered and so are your children, which is a good reason to minimize contact with him.
His obligation to his children comes from the state in the same way the state determines which side of the road to drive on or when to pay taxes. Let the state enforce this obligation and don't explain or apologize for it.
Wayne & Tamara
Overreaction
My best friend lives across the street. Her daughter and mine play together all the time. Our husbands are best of friends, and we watch over each other's home when we are out of town.
When she got a part-time job, I started baby sitting her daughter. I had an interview one evening and left my daughter and hers with my husband. I was gone one hour. The next day she called me and told me all of a sudden she doesn't trust my husband with her daughter.
My husband is an elementary school teacher and loves children. This has upset me and hurt my feelings. She doesn't call now, and I wish I knew what she was thinking. Should I call first?

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A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 4 Steps to Improvement
It's all about relationships! proclaimed my father during our recent holiday visit with my parents. Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my wife, Elizabeth, with the other. When you retire, thats what you realize is most important in life (okay, so thats not him in the photo).
Dad recently retired from 30+ years as an orthopedic surgeon and the major shift in lifestyle seems to have brought about a significant shift in his outlook on life. For me, his statement about relationships became much broader and more profound than I thought such a simple and reasonable statement could ever become.
At first look, it makes sense that relationships are vital to our lives. Whether it is friendship, dating, marriage, family or community, relationships with others are a part of our everyday life. They give us belonging, meaning, companionship, intimacy and love. But, pulling back from this view and taking a broad gander at the subject I realized that relationships are more than just meaningful interactions with people. When we relate or interact with something we are, in fact, in relationship with it. For instance, our relationship with work,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots, our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with our health and our relationship with our spirituality. By defining relationships from this broader perspective, our relationship list becomes almost endless.
You see, when we look at our relationships, we look at our interaction with every part of our lives; people, places, things, and events. So, what is our relationship to our work, ourselves, our environment, our health, our spirituality? How do we relate to these things? Or, better yet, if it is all about relationships how are our most important relationships?
Coming from the psychotherapy world, I often helped couples, families and individuals improve personal relationships by working through a series of 4 questions. Once I broadened my definition of relationships, I found that these questions are applicable to all types of relationships. The questions go something like this:
1. What relationships do you value most?
Be clear about what you value and which relationships are truly priorities to you.
2. Why do you value them?
Understanding the value these relationships have for you underscores the importance of the relationship and clarifies why a relationship feels important.
3. How do you nourish each relationship?
Now that youve identified how and why a relationship is important, you must define what it is that you do to keep that relationship alive and growing.
4. How do you maintain your commitment through the tough times?
Are the divorce stats really any different from the number of other relationships that end in our own lives (i.e., dropping the diet, forgetting exercise, leaving job after job, putting personal goals and dreams on hold,If you're consuming mostly junk food every day, getting around to the God/spiritual thing when you have more time, etc)? These relationships may not necessarily be a marriage but like a marriage these relationships have their challenging times. Similar to a marital relationship,If you haven't, we must work through the difficult times in our other relationships rather than set them aside until a better time or just plain hope the struggles go away. This is often the point at which my coaching clients seek my assistance.