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The more we focus on our goals and direct our attention to making positive changes

What Do Self Improvement and Bamboo Have In Common? by Gene Anger
Although self improvement is a worthy pursuit, many often abandon their efforts due to a false belief they are not making progress.
We try this technique or that and see little or no results. We resist this "apparent" lack of success and begin to feel impatient or frustrated.
I recently heard an explanation of how bamboo grows and realize it is an excellent example of the process that takes place when we embark on a journey of personal change.
When a bamboo is planted the roots begin growing and continue growing for years under the ground and out of sight. The larger the root mass, the taller the bamboo plant will eventually reach.
You can watch a bamboo for years before any outward growth becomes visible. Then suddenly the bamboo begins an amazing growth cycle, shooting up like it is on a mission to make up for years of no growth.
Sometimes this is how self improvement works. We learn techniques and begin applying them. Then under the surface out of our conscious awareness,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots, change begins to take place. We see no visible effects of this change, but it is happening.
The more we focus on our goals and direct our attention to making positive changes, the more our subconscious is getting into alignment with our conscious choices. Then suddenly one day all the pieces of the puzzle seem to fall into place and you manifest positive changes on a massive level.
Impatience and Frustration:
Many often feel stuck and frustrated with the perceived image that nothing is working.
Think of it like an overweight dieter. They begin to lose weight and see great results, then seem to hit a wall where no weight loss is achieved,where's the effortless part of the whole equation. The easy step would be to give up and proclaim the diet is not working. However, if the individual sticks to their plan, they eventually get past this plateau and again see more weight loss results.
I don't know about you, but in my personal life I discovered no matter how frustrated or impatient I become, it does not speed things up. Actually it has the reverse effect.
During periods of little to no growth, it seems normal to become impatient and frustrated. However you can compare this to digging up a bamboo every week to check on growth. Not only would the growth cycle be slower, there is a chance it wouldn't even survive.
Have you ever left for work late and noticed the more impatient or frustrated you become with traffic, other drivers and stop lights the slower your progress becomes?
When broadcasting a signal "I can't have what I want" the Universe acting without judgment then responds with heavier traffic, slower stop lights and drivers blocking our path ensuring we get exactly what we focused on being late for work!
Self improvement works exactly the same. Broadcasting impatience and frustration to the Universe because of slow or even no progress shouts out the Universe "I cannot manifest my desires!"
The Universe then responds by making sure we get exactly what we focus on no progress.
So the next time you feel there is nothing happening, remember the bamboo and re-focus attention to your goals and desires. Acknowledge any impatience or frustration that arises, accept it as yours and then let it go. Self improvement takes time,it is very important to be focused. To be focused. Little steps today make big improvements tomorrow.

My children require the necessities of life

A Brick Wall,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots
Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 18, 2003
Two years ago I divorced, and there is still a lot of hostility.
My former husband has been served with contempt papers for not paying child support. He says I am sending him to the poorhouse, but I have no recourse but to contact the court when the payments stop. He continues to blame me, even though two judges have explained it is the court which determines when contempt charges are filed.
My children require the necessities of life, which I provide, but he says the children are my responsibility and not to contact him, even if they become ill. He only interacts with them on scheduled weekends, and many times the weekends are cut short.
The home he purchased with his girlfriend includes a built-in swimming pool and two Jacuzzis. Last summer he asked me how it feels to work,Base Articles, and he explained he makes enough money his girlfriend gets to sit by the pool all summer. His girlfriend looks like a glittering Christmas tree with all the jewelry she wears.
I have tried to talk to him, but he says he is not listening and then belittles me. He buys food and clothing for his girlfriend's children, but he tells me I have messed up our children's lives and dress them in rags. That is not true. They are really great kids doing well in school,not food related.
I need some ideas how to try and talk to him to get my point across. How do I communicate my concerns to him?
Marlene
Marlene, you have communicated your concerns to him. He doesn't care. Your ex-husband doesn't want to support any woman he is not sleeping with, or her children. Your children have lost a father figure because their father does not see himself as their father.
There is another danger here. Children often respect the bad parent and respond to what that parent wants, while disrespecting the good parent. It is not simply that they pick up the difficult parent's attitude; they think by placating him they will get a father response out of him. But the end result is they may blame you.
Don't waste time thinking you will ever get through to this man. You are being emotionally battered and so are your children, which is a good reason to minimize contact with him.
His obligation to his children comes from the state in the same way the state determines which side of the road to drive on or when to pay taxes. Let the state enforce this obligation and don't explain or apologize for it.
Wayne & Tamara
Overreaction
My best friend lives across the street. Her daughter and mine play together all the time. Our husbands are best of friends, and we watch over each other's home when we are out of town.
When she got a part-time job, I started baby sitting her daughter. I had an interview one evening and left my daughter and hers with my husband. I was gone one hour. The next day she called me and told me all of a sudden she doesn't trust my husband with her daughter.
My husband is an elementary school teacher and loves children. This has upset me and hurt my feelings. She doesn't call now, and I wish I knew what she was thinking. Should I call first?

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A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 4 Steps to Improvement
It's all about relationships! proclaimed my father during our recent holiday visit with my parents. Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my wife, Elizabeth, with the other. When you retire, thats what you realize is most important in life (okay, so thats not him in the photo).
Dad recently retired from 30+ years as an orthopedic surgeon and the major shift in lifestyle seems to have brought about a significant shift in his outlook on life. For me, his statement about relationships became much broader and more profound than I thought such a simple and reasonable statement could ever become.
At first look, it makes sense that relationships are vital to our lives. Whether it is friendship, dating, marriage, family or community, relationships with others are a part of our everyday life. They give us belonging, meaning, companionship, intimacy and love. But, pulling back from this view and taking a broad gander at the subject I realized that relationships are more than just meaningful interactions with people. When we relate or interact with something we are, in fact, in relationship with it. For instance, our relationship with work,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots, our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with our health and our relationship with our spirituality. By defining relationships from this broader perspective, our relationship list becomes almost endless.
You see, when we look at our relationships, we look at our interaction with every part of our lives; people, places, things, and events. So, what is our relationship to our work, ourselves, our environment, our health, our spirituality? How do we relate to these things? Or, better yet, if it is all about relationships how are our most important relationships?
Coming from the psychotherapy world, I often helped couples, families and individuals improve personal relationships by working through a series of 4 questions. Once I broadened my definition of relationships, I found that these questions are applicable to all types of relationships. The questions go something like this:
1. What relationships do you value most?
Be clear about what you value and which relationships are truly priorities to you.
2. Why do you value them?
Understanding the value these relationships have for you underscores the importance of the relationship and clarifies why a relationship feels important.
3. How do you nourish each relationship?
Now that youve identified how and why a relationship is important, you must define what it is that you do to keep that relationship alive and growing.
4. How do you maintain your commitment through the tough times?
Are the divorce stats really any different from the number of other relationships that end in our own lives (i.e., dropping the diet, forgetting exercise, leaving job after job, putting personal goals and dreams on hold,If you're consuming mostly junk food every day, getting around to the God/spiritual thing when you have more time, etc)? These relationships may not necessarily be a marriage but like a marriage these relationships have their challenging times. Similar to a marital relationship,If you haven't, we must work through the difficult times in our other relationships rather than set them aside until a better time or just plain hope the struggles go away. This is often the point at which my coaching clients seek my assistance.

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The God of Fear & Separation as Your Architect by Richard Blackstone
Let us make the analogy that creating your life is like building a house,UGG 5803. You are choosing God as your architect but you have a choice to make. You can choose the God of Love and oneness or you can choose the God of Fear and separation.
You have chosen the God of Fear and separation and therefore you believe yourself to be separate from this God and separate from all of life. Use your spiritual growth to put you in this scenario and then use the spirituality information in this article to see if this architect is serving you or not.
The first thing you realize is that by believing in this God of separation you understand that you need things that you don't have and you also notice that this God is judging the way you desire to structure your life. If this God,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots, that you are separate from, is judging the structure of your life and not providing a sufficient enough supply to fit your requirements, what is up with that?

Why would he fail to provide these requirements or keep them so far away, so separate from you that you would fail to meet your needs and thus so callously disrupt the structure of the life that you are constructing? Is he condemning you in some way? What is going on here?

Didn't a benevolent God invite you into this physical world, which you are separate from,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Chestnut Boots, to live a life of peace, joy and love? Perhaps you haven't lived up to your end of the bargain with this God that placed you here but is now separate from you and separate from everything you need to build your life.

Perhaps there are certain conditions that have to be met before he stops condemning you and begins to help you fulfill your needs. Whatever it is that he needs you would be glad to do, if you only knew what those needs were. Just let you know the conditions of your contract with this architect and you will do what you can to get on with the construction of your life,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Black Boots.

Obviously this architect we call God, which you are separate from, has the power to do anything she wants. She is all-powerful isn't she? She must be because she is certainly superior to you. She created this universe and everything in it. You would certainly humble yourself before her if she would just help you a little and fulfill some of the basic needs you have that will allow you to fulfill the necessities that exist in building your life.

Well, maybe the problem is that you just don't know what it takes to build the structure of your life. Maybe you are just too darn ignorant to understand the complexities involved in dealing with this architect called God, who is separate from you and you should just build the structure of your life haphazardly.

Maybe you should just use the materials in life that you can attain and seem to be in sufficient enough supply that they fulfill part of your needs. You probably won't be able to build the structure of your life in the manner that you truly desire,Remember that being organized is an ongoing process. Not just for you. Maybe you will end up with a shack instead of a mansion but it's not your fault. If you can't get what you need to build your life,. Cough suppressants may also contain narcotics, then you should just make do with what life throws to you.

Wow! That sounds like a tough way to build the structure of your life,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Chocolate Boots. There seems to be a lot of frustration and turmoil involved in the construction process. Our observation tells us that you may have hired the wrong architect. Our observations tell us that whenever you want to build a structure that will last, and give you the satisfaction that it has fulfilled your intentions and desires, you need to go back to the beginning and start off with a solid foundation.
The God you choose to believe in is critical to creating a solid foundation for your life. Do you choose the God of separation and fear or the God of oneness and love? It is your choice.

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The Fear of Expressing Anger
There is much to learn from anger, yet many people are afraid of this feeling because they don't know how to express anger in ways that are helpful rather than harmful. I teach a process at my weekend Inner Bonding workshops called "The Anger Process." This powerful process, which is described below, is not only for releasing pent-up anger in harmless ways, but for discovering what your responsibility is in any conflict with another person.
Often, when I describe this process in a workshop, some people get anxious and want to leave. They are afraid of anger and of expressing their anger. This is invariably because they come from a family where one or both of their parents or other caregivers were angry in a mean, violent way a way that caused harm to others. These people are so afraid of being like their mother or father that they repress their anger, taking it out on themselves instead of others.
Neither dumping anger on others nor repressing it and taking it out on oneself is healthy. Anger expressed in these ways is about controlling rather than learning. Venting anger on another is about controlling through intimidation and blame. Anger dumped on oneself is about controlling feelings that are harder to feel than anger, such as fear, anxiety, loneliness, or helplessness over others.
Anger is an important emotion. It is here to tell us something, to teach us how we are thinking or behaving that is not in our highest good. You may have been taught that other people's behavior causes your anger, yet this is generally not true. Others may behave in ways that you don't like, but your anger at them is frequently a projection of how you are not taking care of yourself a way to control them rather than take care of yourself.
It's important to differentiate between blaming anger and justified anger, which is really outrage. Outrage is the feeling we have when there is injustice, such as seeing someone abuse a child. Outrage moves us to take appropriate, loving action in our own or others behalf.
Blaming anger comes from feeling like a victim and gets us off the hook from having to take personal responsibility for ourselves. This anger does not lead to learning or to healthy action.
The anger process is a way of expressing anger that leads to learning and growth. When people in my workshop want to leave rather than do the process, I explain to them that it is very important for them to reassure the frightened child within that this anger is not like their father's or mother's anger it is not being expressed with the intent to control. It is being expressed with the intent to learn,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots.
The Anger Process is a three-step process:
Fully express anger toward a person you are presently angry with (not in their presence!). You can yell, call names, kick something, and pound with fists on a pillow or with a bat, but you cannot harm yourself or anyone else.
Ask yourself who this person reminds you of in the past parent, teacher, sibling, friend - and then let the angry part of you again fully express the anger.
Finally - and this is the most important part - allow the angry child within to express his or her anger at you, the adult, for any ways you are not taking care of yourself in this conflict, or any ways you are treating yourself badly.
Step Three is the most important part, because it brings the issue home to personal responsibility. If you just do the first two parts, you are left feeling like an angry victim. The anger that comes from being a victim is a bottomless pit and will never lead to learning and resolution.
Once you understand that you can express your anger with an intention to learn, your fear of your own anger will go away. You don't have to repress your anger in order to not be like your parents. You can express it harmlessly in The Anger Process and learn about what your anger is trying to tell you.

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Whether your business is hoping every possible means to fascinate those with a shoe fetish or only has a good popularity for offering the public with a big number of choices available. a large amount wholesalers are likely to supply the entry to the wholesale shoes and boots market and maybe they are really enthusiastic in this special business, which should bring them a quite substantial income.
It is very clear that having the permission of entering in the market of wholesale company is the meaning that you can provide all the customers along with the luxury and make their feet convenient in every season. The wholesalers are very likely to meet those people's requirements who wish to have a big name on their footwear selections on the premises, but don't want to spend a fortune to get them. So if you are eager to own a set of shoes which are not obsolete and can remain being the fashion one, you can just demand the help from the wholesalers who are in fact reliable. It will be capable of bring a great pleasure for you, it will not become the wrong choice for you or for any other people.

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Minnetonka Front Lace Boots
This winter season boots again are the most wanted fashion accessory for women around the world. One particular style of boots that is proving extremely popular with many celebrities at this moment are the Minnetonka Front Lace Boots. Along with being made from good quality suede and having either a hard or soft sole these boots will match perfectly with any outfit you have in your wardrobe.Over the last few weeks there have been many pictures where Kate Moss is seen sporting a pair of these wonderful boots. It isn't just Kate but also Lindsay Lohan who made a statement wearing them with denim shorts,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots, but you yourself can wear them with a great pair of jeans. However, if you want to create a more ethnic look when wearing these boots team them up with the country life fashions as displayed on the likes of the Dolce Gabbana catwalks recently.As already mentioned these boots have either a hard or soft sole and come in a wide array of colors for you to choose from and wear. The main advantage to getting the hard soled version is this helps to extend the life of the boot. However, if you are looking for a boot that is flexible and comfortable the soft soled version should be your preferred choice. Although they are not durable it almost feels like you have nothing on your feet when you wear them.

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Crucial Elements That Can Greatly Assist You Take Your First Safety Boots
If you are functioning in an environment identical building sites, mines and refineries, industrial plants and chemical manufacturing plants, finds are your chance of realizing injured is highly assertable because of the unsafe on the job stipulations you induce,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots. That is why it is very fundamental to be trained for this kind of lines to deflect chance events in the future. Among the number of elaborated gears you should possess, one the most serious are the safety shoes, which, as the describe intimates, establishes your toes protections and safety. accidents do take place in workplaces and these are realities. Safety boots may not be low-cost, but in the long run, and wounded feet is much more high-priced to heal than buying a pair of shoes that are named for durability and aegis. Safety shoes make out in contrasting designs and functionality although it s distinguished design is to put up guard for your feet. Their outsoles are drawn from divergent variety of compounds that can pay you ampler traction and clutch of the ground or pavement you are operating in. Most of these boots are created with metal plating inwardly built-up near the tip of the shoes that grants it a firm and more long-term frame for supplemental protective covering. When you are in a construction situation and you released your hammer, even it falls straightaway on your foot, your toes are secure from the essential impact a descending hammer could induce. Although conforming boots are made with steel metal plating inside, modernized technology has let manufacturers to create reinforcements that are established from peculiar compound stuffs that holds it more lightweight but functional as well. Industrial safety and health law demand the employment of such boots in some industrial scopes and rigorously necessitates corroboration of safety boots and position the symbolizations outside where it is easily understood.

and be consistent with your discipline and focus.

Wealth Building: Step Away from the Status Quo by Kevin Christopher
One of the main things that will hold a person back from making money is their failure to change what they are currently doing. The status quo can be deadly to wealth building efforts. Wealth building takes courage and a new way thinking. Holding on to the "this is how we have always done it" way of thinking can be death to any wealth building strategy. If you want to increase income then think outside of the box,Tips When Purchasing Ugg Classic Cardy Boots. Do not do what your parents did - unless they are multi- millionaires. Even if they are, take their wealth building strategy and build on it, improve it, incorporate you own wealth building techniques into their plan to create a better way of making money. The world has consistently improved over the decades because someone had a bright idea of how to make a better mousetrap. It is the same with making money.
Millionaire parents are the minority, though, so this wealth building information is geared toward the guy who grew up middle class or even dirt poor but is interested in making money and improving his lifestyle. Though making money is a goal that is desired by many, quite often, viable wealth building techniques elude them. The main reasons that people fail to take aggressive steps towards their own wealth building are because of two things: 1. it takes work, and 2. it takes courage. You have to be willing to work for what you want and take risks to get there. Making money is no different.
The first wealth building strategy here is that you should be ready and willing to work. Now, understand that under "work" falls several sub categories including increase self discipline, avoid procrastination and be consistent. There is no easy ride when it comes to making money,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots. Sure, there may be the occasional windfall here or there, but creating a wealth building strategy that you can count on and that consistently brings cash in takes hard work and focus. Self discipline will help tremendously in keeping you focused. Keep your eye on the prize and push yourself to work, to do what needs to be done regardless of how motivated you feel on any given day. This is also how you avoid procrastination. If something needs to be done, just suck it up and do it. If it is a large task that makes you feel overwhelmed, get organized. Organization is a wealth building strategy that will prove invaluable if you use it correctly. Finally, be consistent. Consistently keep your files organized and up to date, keep your records current, and be consistent with your discipline and focus.
As far as courage goes when it comes to wealth building, many people tend to be like the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz. They talk a good game, growl a lot, but the first time someone says "boo" to them they run and hide. And you know what? That is perfectly natural. It is normal to be afraid of the unknown, of venturing into areas unfamiliar. What is not normal is when those fears control and cripple us. Wealth building takes courage because it usually means stepping outside of your comfort zone. Many people lack the self esteem to do this. They are afraid of failure, they simply think that they are not good enough or smart enough. They are wrong. Most people have the wealth building abilities in them, but those abilities are untapped or their existence is not even known. Fear of failure can stop a great wealth building strategy dead in its tracks. Someone once said, "Can't never could." They were so right. If you believe that you will fail then you are quite likely to do just that. Having a positive frame of mind, whether you believe in your ultimate success or not, is integral to increasing income. If you never take the plunge how will you ever know what is possible, what is out there? Believing in yourself is the first step.
Venturing into unchartered waters can be scary, but moving away from the status quo can be the wealth building strategy that catapults you to financial freedom. Some people grow up in environments that are not conducive to success and wealth building. To take that situation and turn it into something positive, to rise above the adversity to achieve wealth building success,requirement and criteria, those are the true heroes. Adopt a "can do" attitude; be willing to jump in with both feet and at least try new ideas and wealth building strategies. Just believe in yourself, do your homework and get ready to work.

gardening

Significance of Muck Boots
Have you ever heard somebody talking about muck boots and wondering aloud what is so unique about them? They are exceptional because of the unique method they suit the feet and also the benefits they provide you with. The reality is you will never locate another set of footwear as versatile as much muck boots. These set of footwear are extremely secure and extremely durable. Additionally, the pair of boots are water-resistant and tough that means you can use them even when engaging in dirty tasks,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots. Muck boots are usually utilized when farming, gardening,licking its lips. Now step inside the puma, hunting and fishing among other pursuits. With such actions,There are several things that a biker holds sacred - his motorcycle, you have to put on the right shoes since they can make a difference about how effective you are in performing particular actions. If this isn't convincing enough, then try gardening with another kind of footwear and see the results on your own. This is perhaps the explanation why many people call these boots the best "work boot." Muck boots are water-resistant hence the feet of the wearer will stay dry during the course of the work day,nothing will keep them down.. The feet won't be soaked and there won't be any blisters or chafing, 2 of the most frequent unwanted effects of ill-fitting footwear.Muck boots are usually extremely secure. When you browse on the web reviews you will see that the people who wear them rave about how secure they are. You will find that most of individuals who buy them are pleased with their order to put it mildly. The reason behind their comfort is how they fit. The footwear will never be unpleasant in your feet as a result. Because when boots are incredibly unpleasant you won't be as productive as when you are using the appropriate boots for the job you are performing. The most enjoyable experience from a boots prospective will happen if you are using muck boots.

Wake up

I'm Broke, How Can I Afford...
I'm still amazed every time someone comes to me complaining that they don't have any money to put into their business and that they're broke.
I mean what have you been doing with your money man?!?
Plain Truth: If you don't have any money you won't make it my friend it's that simple. You have to at least have some money. Say $200-$500. I don't care what the self-styled slick gurus tell you. If you're flat out of cash your dead in the water before you can even start.
Now let me tell you another thing. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE BROKE! You're a liar and a self deluded one at that if you think you are.
I mean how many Starbucks or soda do you drink a day?
How many beers a week do you drink?
How many cigarettes do you smoke?
How much meat do you eat?
How many new clothes have you bought in the last month?
How many "gifts" have you just had to buy?
How many magazines or newspapers have you bought this month?
How many CD's?
How many snacks?
How much candy do you eat a week?
How many TV dinners?
How much fast food have you been eating?
How much did you spend on the lottery?
How much did your TV cost you?
How much money do you give to your church?
How much are your monthly car payments?
So these are really essential to living are they?. No they're not, they're self-indulgent habits! Nothing wrong with that if you can AFFORD them,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots. But you tell me you're broke! Wake up! Ding-dong!
I used to walk the streets with no-more than $3 bucks in my pocket to last me the day. Yes I did that for months on end until something happened. I got mad, real mad. Not at the world but with myself.
You see I have always had a dream of being personally free, being self-reliant, totally in charge of my time and cash flow, beholden to no-one... not government, not masters, not gurus.
Now walking around with $3 bucks aient much fun. It hurts in the pit of your stomach. And when I only had $7 a day to feed my family (yup there were others my pathetic state was impacting) I can tell you, I felt at times of doing something pretty dumb to my body and mind and occasionally did.
If you live in the Western world, you live in the richest part of the planet with the most opportunities the world has ever seen at any point in the history of the human race.
If you want to see poverty take a trip to India or any other developing country. I have, and what I saw made me realize my $3 a day "poverty-trap" was simply an ego-trip. Kids working from 5am to 10pm every day for crumbs of bread. Rags and bones. So please don't tell me you're broke and poor, you don't know the meaning of the word.
But now I'm not broke, now I'm not looking like a tramp feeling sorry for myself.
How did I change it, and get the money to start my information publishing business. I'll tell you. It's real simple and I want you to do it too:
Every single time you buy something, I don't care how many cents or pennies or bucks it might have cost you MUST ASK FOR AND KEEP THE RECEIPT!
At the end of the day in a small note book or on a scrap of paper, total up what you spent your money on. Now ask yourself: "Was what I bought today absolutely essential?" If not, take it back for a refund, you have the receipt after all.
Now put that refunded money in a pot or a jar and label the jar "My Business Building Fund". Better still, don't buy the goodie, treat or trinket in the first place and save the cash.
If you really want to get in control of your finances you absolutely, positively must raise some working capital, and the only way to do that is to stop buying crap and investing the money in yourself,What's halting you from attracting the kind of relationship that you can't wait to be a part of.
I mean do you really need that coffee or will water do? Do you really need that steak or will beans or rice suffice along with some healthy cheap vegetables thrown in?
"But I want to have a coffee, beer, steak" I hear you say. Well don't tell me that you're broke then. All you've done is exchange what little cash you have for something else other than investing in your business building fund.
No-one forced you. No-one but yourself is to blame for where you are right now.
You are in the situation you find yourself because of the choices and decisions you have made during the course of your life . Stop pointing your fingers outside yourself. You are the problem, and as such YOU ARE THE SOLUTION!
So stop spending money on useless trinkets, and superfluous goodies and snacks.
Bread, water, vegetables you don't need anything else to eat. Chances are you have a wardrobe full of clothes already so you don't need anymore of those... correct? Sell your TV it spews lies anyway. Use TV time to learn, surf the web looking for opportunities etc. Sell your car? Either take public transport, which in the long term is cheaper than a car or get a bicycle. And yes it's gonna pop your skull with frustration.
But use that frustration to get your act together and absolutely commit to get with the program and learn how to become a self-reliant cash generating human being. And when that day comes, you'll be able to walk into your bosses office,but it's also become a thing of the heart. She has even mentioned, smack a cream pie in his/her face and walk off to the beach knowing you are, at the end of the day, an immensely and supremely powerful individual,2 It s not your money. You simply forgot!

Of all the people I know

What's Holding You Back? by Scott Hansgen
Of all the people I know, there isn't one of them that doesn't have a dream of some sort,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots.
One may dream of owning a coffee shop while another dreams of being a fulltime musician.
Another wants to be able to just have a little extra cash at the end of the month while yet another wants to go back to school. We all have dreams of some type. The problem is most of our dreams will go unfulfilled for one reason or another,our withdrawal and our resistance.. Strange thing is it mostly comes down to belief in our selves.
It's easy to convince yourself that the lack of money, knowledge, opportunity,you can read my article on goal setting at, youth and yes time are all legitimate reasons that we can't pursue our dreams when in fact, none of them are. There are countless successful folks out there that have realized their dreams and faced all of these obstacles and more. The difference is they honestly believed in themselves and they really, really wanted to see their dreams become a reality. They talked themselves into realizing their dream where the rest of us talked our self out of it.
It all comes down to perspective. How we decide to look at things is the one key that makes all the difference. Some folks see the good no matter what they look at where others are only able to see the bad. That negativity is the single largest stumbling block that most of us face. If we can overcome that obstacle, the sky's the limit!
We first must accept the fact that everything we have in life such as relationships, family, career, material things and mindset are of our own choosing. We are not in our current state because of any other factor. We made decisions along the way that determined where we are now. We must first take responsibility for those decisions. That's the first step. If we can do that, then we will realize that we simply have to make new decisions to take us to where we want to go. Let me give you an example.
A man is unhappy in his current job. He doesn't feel it is meaningful, he doesn't feel challenged and he thinks he is way underpaid. However, he's been in search of a new job for a long time but can't seem to find anything better. He feels stuck in this big hole that he can never get out of and at some point life seems to become just one big burden. Now, looking back through his life he made a conscious decision to not further his education and therefore, he can't get into a better career position. Oh I hear you. You're saying that maybe he had to go to work for economic reasons right out of high school. Well that may be true. However, he still could have increased his education through night classes and such. It may have taken him longer but he still could have accomplished it. The fact is, life sometimes isn't fair. Some have it harder than others but we all still have choices to make and those choices determine who and what we will become in the future.
I heard a speaker once ask a lady in the audience what her dream was and she said she always wanted to become a nurse. He then asked her why she doesn't go back to school to get her degree. She said she was too old. He asked her this, "How old will you be in 4 years from now"? She replied, "I'll be 52". He then asked, "How old will you be in 4 years if you go back to school"? She then of course said, "52". He looked her in the eye and said would you rather be 52 and doing what you're doing now or would you rather be 52 and be a nurse"? She never responded but the answer was obvious. It gets right back to what I said earlier. It's all perspective. It's how we choose to look at things.
So in closing, think about where you are now and where you want to be in a year, 2 years, 5 years,then you could try the HR of the Employee Assistance Program representative.. Make a list of all the reasons why you CAN be successful in following your dream.
Then put the resources you have available to good use and make them work for you. There's no reason whatsoever that you can't transform your life into exactly what you want. Make the necessary changes and live your dream!!
Scott Hansgen
Get more FREE information about changing your thinking to change your life right here!

127 Jefferson St.

Workaholics: Extreme Workers by Don Wetmore
In the May 23, 2007 edition of USAToday there appeared a feature article about the growing number of workaholics in our country. My experience with my clients confirms that it is becoming an epidemic in the workplace where employees are given increased tasks and then achieve increased performance by paying for it out of their hides, putting in more time rather than acquiring better time management skills to learn how to get more done in less time.
About 60% of high earners work more than 50 hours each week and complain that their health and sleep suffer as well as their relationships with their spouses and children. About 35% of the workforce is giving up some vacation time to work more and more and a third of those surveyed felt guilty about taking time off.
The causes for this increase of workaholics include a more competitive business environment, less job security and technology such as BlackBerries, laptops and cell phones that keep people tethered to their jobs 24/7.
This article offers some warning signs to tell if you are an Extreme Worker,"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.".
Do you find your enjoyment of social activities is less,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots?
Are you thinking or worrying about work?
Does your family complain about your work hours?
Are you the last one to leave the office?
Effective personal productivity is not working harder but getting the most important items done. You will leave undone more that you ever get done. You will only accomplish a tiny fraction of what you would like to get done. Having a goal, then, of "getting it all done" just buys stress and frustration and more hours for work and less time for you as you become ensnared in the Extreme Worker trap.
What to do? Two strategies might be helpful.
Start by setting in advance the total number of hours you wish to spend on the job,Can we all just take a pill and everything is going to be ok.. This will help you to take advantage of Parkinson's Law which says, in part, that a project tends to expand with the time allocated for it. If you give yourself ten hours in the day to do your work it will take ten hours to complete. You will fill in that time.
On the other hand, if you chose to give yourself eight hours in the day to do your work, you will find yourself generally getting it done within that time frame. You will automatically become more effective at planning and managing your time. You will be less willing to spend time in wasteful meetings for example and will suffer fewer wasteful interruptions.
Second, take a regular, hard look at your To Do list and identify the items that can be delegated. There is a big difference between "I do it" and "It gets done." What is more important is that it gets done. And the hardest part about delegating is simply letting go, especially for Extreme Workers.
I have had many executive coaching assignments helping clients to get free of the workaholic syndrome and as is often the case, the problem stems from an inability and unwillingness to delegate. "If you want a job done well you have to do it yourself," leads you to the prison of an Extreme Worker.
If these ideas were helpful, we have prepared an additional article entitled, "Your Just Might Be a Workaholic". It's a humorous take on the Extreme Worker that you will find amusing and instructive. If you would like a complimentary copy,to remain in a loving state and to share that love with those around her., email your request for "might" to:
Dr. Donald E. Wetmore
Professional Speaker
Productivity Institute
Time Management Seminars
127 Jefferson St.
Stratford, CT 06615
(203) 386-8062 (800) 969-3773
Email:
Visit Our Time Management Supersite:
Professional Member-National Speakers Association

take on new experiences and discover all you need to get where you want to be.

The Real Secret of Getting What You Want In Life by Tony Hall
It's well worth taking heed of because far too many of us are afraid to ask for the things we need in order to succeed in life. Asking questions can open doors and bring to us the opportunities that without doubt are already out there. So why do we find it so hard?
The chances are that if you went to a good school you were always encouraged to ask questions. If you didn't quite understand what the teacher was telling you the only way to get it was to ask the meaning. As a Dad I certainly urge my sons to ask questions, it's the only way to learn.
But maybe as a child it's easy to say you don't understand and accept that you don't know something. Then it's easy to do something about it, ask for help and find the solution.
But sadly as we get older we stop asking! Maybe it's because we feel that as adults we should know what things mean and how to do them and so we don't want to appear foolish, particularly in front of our friends, family or work colleagues.
Or perhaps we have just stopped caring enough to want to learn new things and gain new experiences,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots. It's sad, because when you do start to ask you usually start to get!
Sure, we all ask for things every day. We have to when we go shopping, go to the cinema, or go to a restaurant,How does she keep people so entranced with her words. But we only ask for the simple things!
Take that last example. When you go to a restaurant and see something on the menu that is unfamiliar do you ask the waiter what it is? Congratulations if you do, but most people will simply pass it over and stick with what they know. That's an opportunity lost!
And how many times, when in conversation with a group of people has something been mentioned that you don't understand? Instead of saying so and asking for an explanation it's so easy to just stay quiet and stay ignorant. Another chance wasted!
It's true isn't it? You just don't want to appear foolish.
Well it's time to change!
If you really want to move forward then you need to learn new things every day. You need to broaden your horizons, take on new experiences and discover all you need to get where you want to be.
So start asking. Ask what things mean, how to do them, and above all ask for the things you want in life.
The fact is that one of the keys to good conversation is asking questions. People won't think you're dumb or get annoyed,Leadership. Instead they'll warm to you and you'll soon find that you are gaining all sorts of benefits. So don't be afraid to raise questions. Ask especially about the topics that you need to find out about to help you to achieve your goals.
Ask why, ask who, ask what. All those questions will get people talking and you'll soon to start to learn lots of new facts and information. You'll gain new knowledge and you'll discover new opportunities that will bring success to your life. And don't ever be afraid to ask for help.
So why not start right now by asking yourself some searching questions. Ask what it is you really want in life and what you need to do to get it,surround yourself with people. Search inside to find what will really bring you the happiness and fulfillment you desire. Because if you don't know what motivates you then you won't get to where you want to be.
So ask, and very soon you will begin to "get"!

go on with your normal life and do not give anything negative any of your attention

Why Won’t The Law of Attraction Work For Me? by Gary Evans
If you've tried using the Law of Attraction and have failed to manifest what you want, then rest assured that you are not alone. Many thousands of people have given up far too quickly once they've decided that it doesn't work for them.
But why doesn't it work for them? And why doesn't it work for you?
The truth of the matter is, you are using the Law of Attraction in every single moment. Are you consciously choosing thoughts in order to manipulate future events and circumstances? Or are you of the opinion that the thoughts in your mind are random and cannot be controlled?
It takes work, it takes persistence and it takes real determination to change your habitual thoughts. It is not impossible and it is something that every single person can do regardless of your education and upbringing.
In my opinion, there are three killer reasons why people tend to "fail" at using the Law of Attraction:
They used thoughts instead of emotions – It is not your thoughts that have the attraction power, it is your emotions,they are not even tangible things.. The universe does not hear your words nor does it see your pictures, but it does respond to your vibration. Emotions are what emit vibrations. After watching movies like "The Secret" some people misinterpreted the message and felt that if they thought about something for long enough then it would manifest,Career Coaching Needs To Stop....When....
This would be the case if they mixed their thoughts with emotion and become emotionally involved with their desire.
Time for an example: When I was younger, I was terrified of spiders – every time I saw one my heart would beat faster and I would feel the feelings of being scared and afraid. Looking back at the situation now, I can clearly see how I kept on attracting spiders into my life! I was putting great amounts of emotion into something that I didn't want causing them to come into my life experience very frequently. Since switching my thoughts and not giving them any attention,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots, I very rarely see them.
They don't want their desire enough – There are those people who do understand what they have to do, but they are unable to focus enough time and attention onto their desires. Why? Because they don't care about it enough! You may hear someone say "I want a million dollars" but when you ask that person why they want a million dollars they can only give you a few answers… "So I won't ever have to worry again," or "So I can buy a big home". These reasons are perfectly fine, but they haven't given the whole scenario enough thought – what exactly are they going to spend the money on? By working out the details you become more emotionally attached and invoke more emotional energy.
Took score too soon – Every time you say "Where's my stuff?" what message do you think you're putting out to the universe? Not one of having or expectation that's for sure! Do whatever you need to do to prevent yourself from taking score and seeing all of your "stuff". You need to be so confident that you will achieve your desire that you expect it to come to you. There is no taking score required ever! From this day forward make the firm decision that you will never take score of your current situation… that type of thinking is simply living in the past and it does not serve you,New Warrior Adventure Weekends.
So what can you do immediately to start brining your desires home?
Find a private area that you can spend 20-30 minutes alone every day without being disturbed and use that time to simply relax. Do not play any music, or watch any television, focus solely on yourself and quiet your mind. Make sure you close your eyes and start to visualize your desires as if they're already here.
Imagine that it has happened right now, and feel what you would feel had it happened. The more excited and worked up you can get, the better.
I find it best to focus on a maximum of 3 desires at a time. Spend the first 10 minutes focusing entirely on that first desire. Don't drift away from the thoughts, stay with it. Keep living it, and milk the feelings out of every thought you can conjure! What you will find is that the longer you focus your attention on your desire, the more ideas and emotions you will invoke.
The Law of Attraction works with your thoughts as well you know! In as little as 17 seconds, a like minded thought is being hurled into your mind. So focusing just a little bit of time can yield you some fantastic thoughts and ideas.
Once you've completed this daily routine, go on with your normal life and do not give anything negative any of your attention, the more positive you remain the quicker your manifestations will occur. But remember … DO NOT TAKE SCORE.
And that is it, now you must "know" that you've done all the work that is required. Everything else will fall into place for you, you'll be inspired to do something or you'll meet someone at the perfect time that can help bring about your desires.
Your work is done for that day, now rinse and repeat. Before long, you won't even remember the days when you weren't in control of your life!

is the divine expression of source.

Connect With Your Source by Laurie J. Brenner
The single most important thing you can do in your life is to connect with your source. Greater than anything you desire, connecting with source allows you to develop a relationship with the Infinite Wisdom of the Universe. By staying connected you will be in the flow and everything comes easily and quickly to you.
You've heard it said, go with the flow.
This doesn't mean follow the masses it means to connect with your source and go with its flow which is unique for each and every one of us.
Where do you think you really come from? Your parents? Yes, you share their DNA and your body comes from their joining. But where does the you that stares out from behind those eyes live? In your cells, in your DNA, your central nervous system? Do you live in your mind? Are you your mind?
Have you ever noticed that when you experience anything a feeling a moment an event or circumstance and that while you participate and enjoy or not these things that occur; that part of you sits back and watches everything?
Many call this the observer, the witness, your spirit, your soul, whatever name you choose - it is that part of you that is always connected to source it stands back and witnesses everything. Your eternal being resides here and always stays in direct communication with source for without that connection you would die.
If we are always connected why must we then connect? Does this seem confusing to you? Yes, you are always connected with source, period and nothing can sever that relationship. But the part of you that stays connected is not in your conscious mind.
When I talk about connecting with source, I mean consciously. For too long we have made the part of our being that is connected with source sit in the back of the bus. Like Mrs. Parks, a time comes when that part of you simply cannot take being ignored any more. What happens,your best first step would be to outline your values and write down those most important to you.? Many things your life falls apart, you get sick, things don't go your way you lose your job, your lover, your house, whatever is consuming your life.
The Father Mother God of Your Being won't stay in the back of the bus for long especially if something in you awakens the sleeper must awaken. Yes, you can have all that you desire but not at the cost of your soul.
The relationship with source is different for everyone. It doesn't take your believing in source for source to empower your being. Nor can you tell another person how their relationship with source is supposed to be. It is a very individual experience. It is the most intimate of relationships you will ever experience.
Source never leaves you, never lies to you, and never makes you feel guilty. Source loves you unconditionally and always says yes to you even if your belief is such that you feel the universe says no. The universe will support whatever you believe to be true.
An important fact to understand: the universe always says yes even when you perceive it to be no. When you experience no, what you are experiencing is your belief in no so the universe says yes by supporting your no. You define your world. Source does not do that for you.
Source is not your ego,Where are you wasting time, your personality or any trait or characteristic of your being. Source is not your belief structure or your religious undertakings. Source is Divine Infinite Wisdom. Some call It God, Energy, Allah, Yahweh it is known by many names or none.
You can ask your source about anything and it will answer. It answers by giving you a feeling. If you feel calm and peaceful that is your answer which can be interpreted as yes. If you feel more confused and at unrest this can be interpreted as no.
As you develop your own relationship with your source you will find what form of communication works for you. There are no hard and set rules and this is a very personal relationship one that no-one but you and source together share.
A Very True Story
I saw a woman's spirit leave her body. I watched her die.
At eighteen I worked full-time in a nursing home as a nurse's aide. Populated with people in their later years, most of them lived out the rest of their days at this small convalescent hospital in La Mesa, California.
I worked the graveyard shift, eleven p.m. to seven a.m. Standing nearly five feet eleven inches and generally not afraid of too much, I worked this shift with three other women, all of them older and wiser than me. Older, big, and black, not-intimidated-by-much-women, they each in their own way took me under their wing and taught me my work.
Our job involved turning, changing, and caring for these people. Many were bedridden and required extensive care. We would do our runs every two hours starting at the end of the hall and working back towards the nurse's station.
Very early one fall morning, at about three a.m., the time came to once again turn my patients, check and empty catheters, and force fluids on anyone awake.
I pushed my cart piled high with incontinence pads,"professional", towels, and wash cloths to the end of the hall and ducked into the ward on my left. Each ward contained four bed housed with patients unable to communicate. In this particular ward, each patient contained a tube inserted through their nose into their stomach for water and food.
I felt sad for these women as I could never tell if they knew what went on about them.
Bedridden, bedsore, generally pretty stiff, and locked into fetal positions on their sides, the patients lay as eerily quiet as the room.
I entered the ward and immediately felt drawn to the second bed over on my right. The small lamp over the bed cast a cone of light directly over Ellie's head. A small woman with short salt and pepper hair and drawn into the fetal position on her left side, I knew I needed to turn her over.
Unconsciously I pushed the cart away from me as I approached the end of her bed. I felt drawn to just look at her. It felt like I just entered a church. A deep peace and quiet lay upon her. I gently moved to the foot of her bed and placed one hand on the footboard. Standing, she would only be about five feet tall and couldn't weigh more than eighty or ninety pounds soaking wet. A light sheet and blanket covered her.
I felt compelled to look at her my eyes drawn to her feet. I can't tell you how, but something inside of me just knew to watch and it very gently took over and directed my gaze. I noticed something moving under the covers by her feet so I focused my attention there.
I watched a ripple move from her feet up her body, moving slowly but steadily. I say ripple because it felt non-violent. It was an effect and a cause in one fluid steady movement.
I watched as this ripple crested her torso and seemingly disappeared, but in exact timely fashion of the ripple itself, exited the crown of her head as a spiral of wispy cigarette-like smoke. It twisted gently up in a free forming corkscrew manner, intent clearly defining its purpose, and disappeared into the singular cone of light above her head.
I can't say that I felt surprise. Something inside me knew. The timing of the whole incident, complete with me pushing the cart aside, gently walking over to the end of her bed, and putting one hand on the footboard couldn't be more exquisitely timed if it had been scripted.
The moment I hit the mark, the movement began.
While it happened, I felt no fear. The moment I realized her death, reality crashed in on me. She died, I saw it. More importantly, I saw her spirit exit quietly and gently with a singular and intent purpose: it knew where it headed. I felt the intelligence, I felt its awareness of me, and I felt its total lack of gender.
Childhood fear chased me out of the room. I went through the hall to find one of the big black sisters I worked with.
She ambled her way down the hall with me in tow. I stayed behind her and used her body as a shield and we entered Ellie's room. She checked Ellie's pulse, noted the time, and said, "yep, she's dead."
She pulled Ellie's few belongings from the night stand drawers and placed them on the bed with her. She covered her head.
We closed all the doors along the hallway so that when the mortician came for her, no-one would see. I never told my co-workers this story. I did not think they would believe me. It made such an impression upon me that I promptly forgot the whole experience until I was in my thirty's.
Through the years, I've experienced readings from many different psychics and without fail, all shared with me that I too have psychic abilities. I've had many other experiences, however,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots, nothing where I saw a spirit straight on like this out of the corner of my eyes, yes. In reflections of mirrors, window panes and other glass, yes.
The point I am making is this: more than a body, more than a personality, or an ego, you are a divine child of the universe with an eternal spirit. Eternal. E-tern-al.
You come from source, you exist because of source, and someday you return to source.
Critical for your well-being as well as for your endeavors in this journey of creating your reality and learning to become the real you - the divine child of the universe - connecting with your source is a step you must make on your own.
This is a very personal journey, no man; woman or child can come between you and your Source. Death cannot separate you from your source.
Source is the very source of your being. The part of you that does not reside in the physical realm the part of you that constantly maintains twenty-four hour access to all things, known and unknown, seen and unseen stands a mere breath away.
I read somewhere once that "of God" - Spiritos means to exhale while "man" means inhale. How much closer to source can you get?
Consciously attach yourself to your source. Give thanks to your source for the ability to breathe in and out. Start your day by giving thanks for everything in your life, both the wanted and unwanted. Write a list of five things you are grateful for every day and watch your life change!
Give thanks for everything you can see, taste, touch, smell, hear, or sense, for without your source you would not exist.
Step outside, right this minute, whether it is on your porch, your doorstep, your curb, your backyard, your front yard or in the street. Go outside and look up. Look at the sun or the clouds, the moon and stars and notice everything not made by man. This, in its simplest form, is the divine expression of source.
And then realize that the Creator of All This - propels you, powers you, gives you being on this planet. The same energy that made the stars made you. The same energy that powers the universe powers you.
To quote Joni Mitchell, "you are stardust, you are golden."
Are you any less than one of these? You are loved. And you are known.
It is time for you to know yourself.
Excerpted from The Little Book of Becoming, 2007 Laurie J. Brenner

He loves to do this

How Do I Know What I Am Supposed To Do With My Life?
Everyone has a purpose in life—a reason for being,but to the "interpretation" we give to that circumstance.. Somewhere deep inside we know this; we can feel it. God, in his wisdom, gave us our own unique talents, gifts and callings. We were created to share those gifts with the world.
Isn't it fascinating? In the history of the whole world, there has never been a person exactly like you, nor will there ever be. You are the only one who can fulfill your purposeand you only have one life to do it.
Unfortunately, no one can tell you exactly what your specific life purpose is-- the answer is yours to uncover.
However, fortunately, we have a God whose deepest desire is to show us the way. We don't even need special abilities—the only ability God requires is availability!
Here are four quick strategies to help you find and live your purpose.
First,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots, ask God to reveal his will in your life (He loves to do this)! Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:46
Second, look for the dream that keeps coming back,among his 1. It is your destiny. God puts his desires in your heart. The things you love to do and want to do--these are your callings—trust them.
Third, watch for direction and guidance. Rarely does God swoop down from heaven in a brilliant flash of light and etch our life's calling onto a stone tablet. Instead, He speaks through the everyday world around us, "I will instruct you and lead you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you,reset button. (Psalm 32.8)
Fourth, believe that God has the power, strength and desire to work in your life. After all, his whole point in creating you was so that you could have a close relationship with Him and fulfill your destiny. (He created the whole world, don't you think he can handle your life)?
Remember, only you can live the dream God created for you—only you can fulfill your purpose. Have fun finding it and living it!
Blessings,
Beth


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Feel free to use this article in your publications or web sites. If you do, I'd appreciate a quick note letting me know where they appeared.
Copyright Beth Hitesman, 2005

my need for approval prompted me to keep expanding this burgeoning

Traveling Out Of Body
I can see the cops coming! They're a good thousand feet away. I can clearly make out their uniforms and swinging nightsticks. How can I be seeing this?
I didn't dare mention it to my fellow underage drinking mates lounging with me on the grassy knoll in the park. Am I making this up? Projecting it somehow into my vision? Forcefully, I shook my head back and forth in an effort to free my mind of its strange perception.
But the view of the two police officers remained in my sight, as they sauntered closer and closer to our drinking den. In fact, to my further astonishment, I saw a much wider perspective as I swiveled my gaze within the picture before me. I can see myself!
Frantically blinking my eyes open and shut trying to erase this impossibility, I still found myself staring at my own physical body on the ground next to my beer buddies,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots,Would you have a better personal life. The place from which I was viewing was about forty feet in the air! As I shifted my attention to look at the looker, I saw an airborne body in the form of a luminous shimmer, much like a ghost is portrayed in a movie. Then, with the ease of a mere thought, I discovered I could shift my point of view from my physical body on the ground back to my ethereal light body in the air. Using my eyes in my subtle body, I surveyed the scene again from my perch in the air.
Am I making all this up? Do I want to impress my pals so much, I'm concocting an extrasensory perception to allow me to warn them of an oncoming bust? My frenetic self-questioning came to an abrupt halt as I heard one of the officers whisper to his colleague, "Do you hear that noise? There are some kids in the park."
Whether I was conjuring my supernormal sight and hearing to court favor with my friends or not, I needed to act-and quickly. "Hey, guys, don't ask me how I know, but there are some cops right up the street and they're on to us. Let's split." My three inebriated friends and I quietly sneaked down the hill and out of the park under the helpful cloak of darkness. By a nanosecond, we successfully evaded detection as we heard the policemen slashing at the bushes with their billyclubs right behind us A close call!
"Hey, how'd ya know the fuzz was there,This is hard to change. People like to say?" my buddy pressed me as we arrived safely back at our car.
"Uh, I just knew somehow. A guess, I guess," I muttered, covering for myself as best I could under the circumstances.
"Well, a pretty good one, man. We'd be up the creek if they caught us. Thanks. You're all right. We should have you around every time we go drinking."
Ah, music to my ears. And so my young career as a drinking guard began!
My friends, at sixteen, were older than I but still under the legal drinking age of eighteen in New York State. I was fifteen and considered myself really lucky to be included in this older gang at a time of life when acceptance and belonging was paramount. And to have access to liquor through their connections was heaven for me.
I would do almost anything to please these guys and stay tight with them. I mused to myself, My newfound super-vision is coming in real handy. If we got busted for underage drinking, we'd all get grounded by our parents, not to mention getting in trouble with the law,divorce was not an option. For many people. I've got to keep this good thing going!
On that fateful night, my need for approval prompted me to keep expanding this burgeoning, new skill that I stumbled across in the line of necessity and opportunity.
As I played with my prowess as a night watchman for the gang, I realized I was doing more than clairvoyance, "clear seeing." Each time I playfully sent myself out to scan the scene for police, I was having a bona fide out-of-body experience. I didn't have a name for it then, but I sure knew I was doing it! I was right on the mark every time I called a cop alert. My skill was valued by the friends I valued. Literally, I was flying high!
Since my teenage discovery, I've continued to explore out-of-body adventures. And I always laugh in admiration when I look back on how God tricked me into developing my first natural spiritual ability.
(c) 2004, Keith Varnum. All rights in all media reserved.

I feel . . .

Create Happiness: Replace Force with Cooperation by Benjamin Conley
We have all found ourselves, at one time or another, engaged in what seems to be an endless, frustrating struggle to achieve success with something at which we have failed. Often, that struggle may have been to get someone else to be "reasonable," "fair," or "logical." We may have been engaged in an attempt to accomplish the impossible, to control what we have no control over: the other person. The struggle sometimes turns into a fight with the other person or a criticism of ourselves.
We are all equipped with genetic knowledge about how to survive: fight or flight, freeze or submit. We know "in our bones" how to defend ourselves when we find ourselves in danger. We want our environment to be safe, rather than threatening, and endeavor to make it as safe as possible,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots, by various means.
The "fight/flight" response is a genetically programmed reaction to control our environment and any enemies that may threaten us. The goal is to dominate and control adversaries so as to neutralize them, or failing that, to escape from their domination.
It is easy to understand why we might be inclined to use the same methods to get others to do something we want them to do. We act that out in positive ways, for example, with sports such as football, competing to see who can dominate who as the primary goal. The winner is the team that has the dominant physical control, on balance, over the other, as measured by the points scored.
But in relationships other than sports, when there is no agreement to compete, attempting to control others turns into frustrating and hapless struggle, because we cannot control others, short of putting them into physical bondage.
The struggle to make things and others be what we want is familiar and understandable, but when it comes to achieving cooperative relationships, it is doomed to failure. The reason is that one person cannot control what another thinks or does.
The exception to this principle is parents' responsibility to care for children, to assure that their behavior and environment is as positive and nurturing as possible and to protect them from hurt. But children also gradually let the parents know as they become emotionally and financially independent that the parents have less and less responsibility and eventually no responsibility to manage their lives. By growing up, the children work the parents out of the job of being caretakers.
More sophisticated methods of relating than fight/flight are required for satisfactory adult relationships, methods affirming the autonomy and freedom of each person, still allowing for initiative to pursue what each person wants. One way to think of ways of relating that succeed in relationships is to focus on cooperation.
Replace force with cooperation.
Since we cannot force ourselves, others, and nature to be what they are not, we do well to accept the reality of ourselves, others, and nature being the way each is, bringing ourselves into harmony with reality as it is. We can then choose how to relate to each person as he or she is, including the choice not to relate. With ourselves, we do well to give ourselves permission to think, feel, and act as we think,how convenient, feel, and act, and then see if there is anything we would like to change about ourselves. We can spend our limited energy on productive change, if we wish to do so.
The same principle applies to others. First listen and observe to understand more about the other person, and then decide how you wish to relate or not relate to him or her. You can get better acquainted, and since no one is the way you ideally want him or her to be, you can decide whether there are enough positives to warrant being more involved.
The process of getting acquainted with another person more deeply allows you to honor what is important to that person in combination with honoring what is important to you. Then you can negotiate to arrive at some ways to accommodate that give you both enough of what you desire.
The negotiation process is not complicated, and is something you already know how to do. After listening and understanding the other person's point of view, you simply state your own,which can be uncomfortable to the onlooker, using "I" statements to describe your response to whatever has happened.
This way of communicating your own point of view avoids any criticism of the other person.
Another self-created struggle results from the attempt to create a close relationship by taking responsibility for the happiness of the other person. This "co-dependent" arrangement is based on the belief that "If I sacrifice myself to please you and you sacrifice yourself to please me, we will both be happy."
This setup backfires because it violates the reality that each person can only be responsible for his or her own happiness.
The resentment that results from carrying the burden of keeping others happy and from their failing to keep us happy in return kills the relationship instead of blessing it. The obligation to please others creates resentment and fear of closeness, as described in more detail in my book, Taking the Fear Out of Being Close.
The positive alternative is to cooperate with the biological reality that you are in charge of your own decision making, and also have the option to treat others in loving ways without being obligated to be their servant. You begin with taking care of yourself, being loving toward yourself, and then treat others in the same way you wish them to treat you, even if they do not.
Here are some ways to practice replacing force with cooperation.
1. Begin any joint activity with another person by understanding his or her point of view. Full understanding always includes
Data — Ask about the ideas and beliefs that guide the other person's actions and feelings, whether or not you think they are true. Listening and acknowledging what another person thinks does not require agreement.
Logic — See how the other person weaves together ideas and beliefs in a way that makes sense to him or her. Seek to understand the rationale behind the thinking and actions.
Empathy — what might you feel if you were in the other person's shoes? Use that information to connect with the other person's emotional energy of anger, sadness, fear, and happiness that flow from his or her beliefs and actions.
These same elements are found in the Couple's Dialogue as taught by Imago Relationship therapists, and in other models of active listening. The bottom line is to find out what is emotionally important to the other person, what the other person wants, so as to take it seriously,shortsighted and/or greedy people with vested interests in the exisiting system, with respect, even when you disagree. You can read more about this in my book, Making Relationships Work, available as an ebook or hard copy.
2. If you find yourself angry about what someone has asked you to do, remind yourself that you have a choice about how to respond to what another person says or does, and that you can take time to think about your response.
Ask yourself if you must do what is requested. Good relationships do not require that one always do what pleases the other person. You are not required to do what violates your values or what your "inner wisdom" rejects.
Tell the other person what you have decided to say or do (rather than keep it to yourself), especially when what you have decided is a new way to talk or act, a change from your typical behavior.
3. If you find yourself angry about what someone has ordered you to do, think about whether you have agreed to do what was ordered, as in a military or job setting. Remember that even in such a setting you still have a choice about whether to honor your contract to follow orders.
Remind yourself that when you do not have an agreement to follow orders, as in a romantic relationship, you do not have an obligation to please the other person, even though you may wish for him or her to be pleased. Then let the other person know what you have decided to do.
4. Here is a model for requesting another person to change a behavior. I present it in a linear, logical fashion, though in practice you may not use the same words, and you may use a different order. This is a way to make requests in ways that respect the other person's point of view.
When you . . . (describe the behavior you like or dislike).
I think . . .(describe the meaning you assign to the behavior).
I feel . . .(name your feeling response).
I want . . .(propose your solution)
Will you . . .(ask if the other person will do it, and get a response of some kind).
Negotiate as , if necessary, to find a mutually acceptable alternative solution.
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Modify and use these exercises in your own customized ways, your own ways to create more happiness in your life.

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Things You Can Do To Break Out Of A Negative Mental Rut by Daniel J Thorley
We all tend to get in a mental rut once in a while. This is usually triggered by different circumstances and events. It could be anything from a failed business to a failed relationship. Getting in a negative mindset is allowed and can happen to anyone. What is not good is if you remain in that rut or have been living in that state of mind for a long time,5825 Ugg Classic Short Navy Boots.
A negative mental attitude can literally destroy your life unless you do something quick about it. If you consistently think of yourself as a failure, a no-good, and a complete underachiever, then you need help. While this article will only give you a hint of the things you need to do, it is essential that you seek help from positive mental attitude experts like Eckhart Tolle, Napoleon Hill, Norman Vincent Peale, Ralph Waldo Emerson and contemporary experts like Bob Proctor and Anthony Robbins.
1. Start Thinking of the Good Things in Your Life
This simple exercise has helped millions of people go from a negative pattern of thinking to a positive mental situation. While this might look like a simple thing to do and feel seemingly unproductive, you will find that it will be quite difficult particularly when you have been negative minded for a long time.
The idea is to get you to break free from the captivity of negativity and start seeing what you ought to be thankful for. This simple exercise can be the turning point in your life if you would only try it. Start with the fact that you are alive and breathing. If you think that's an easy thing to do, visit any ICU in any hospital and you will find that you have a lot more to be grateful for.
2. Use the Words “Can” and “Will” More Often
Two words often keep you negative and paralysed. These are the “Cant” and “Wont” words. These words have been far more responsible for more failure in the world than any other thing. Now, you will start thinking more along the line of “can” and “will”. I admit quite alright that this will be difficult; however there is something you can do to teach your body to abhor those two words.
Get at least 6 rubber bands and wear on each of your wrists,when he was 17 and she was 15. After completing high school. Anytime you catch yourself going for the two negative words, pull them and snap them on both wrists. This will be painful but your mind will soon start associating those two words with pain and try as much as possible to avoid them.
3,doctors. Think More About Benefits and Gains
One other important thing you must do is to consistently weigh each action and choice in the light of gains and benefits. If the benefits and gains are huge, or significant enough, go for it. You will soon find the strength within yourself to be the best that you can be.
Business From The Kitchen Table is a recently launched e-letter to share the experiences of a young entrepreneur and help remove the hurdles for new home businesses,Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 22.
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